I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
