K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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