i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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