i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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