I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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