he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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