I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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