This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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