The brown eye won't let me do that either.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Randomize
