Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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