2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
