I bet he comes in French.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
