I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
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Someone shattered a urinal.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
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Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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