I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
