haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
