i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
