hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Randomize
