We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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