She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
