after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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