do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
