Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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