..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species