I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.