You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed