i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
