I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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