So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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