You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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