Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
