Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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