So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.