Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(817): View more from Texas

I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.

(817): View more from Texas

I guess it was more of a nightmare.

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(817): I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to. (817): I guess it was more of a nightmare. http://tfl.nu/fsml

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(419): View more from Ohio

Bisexual people are plain selfish.

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(419): Bisexual people are plain selfish. http://tfl.nu/ksuw

Replies (53) Good night (3963) Bad night (1021)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?

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(978): is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl? http://tfl.nu/dwko

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(847): View more from Illinois

HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO

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(847): HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO http://tfl.nu/vpr1

Replies (34) Good night (3066) Bad night (1094)
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(619): View more from California

The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.

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(619): The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear. http://tfl.nu/8fu9

Replies (11) Good night (4792) Bad night (1791)
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(310): View more from California

He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday

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(310): He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday http://tfl.nu/b2jq

Replies (11) Good night (3159) Bad night (1367)
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(303): View more from Colorado

good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"

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(303): good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia" http://tfl.nu/o7ku

Replies (6) Good night (2163) Bad night (1721)
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(305): View more from Florida

he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!

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(305): he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!! http://tfl.nu/msw0

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.

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(717): If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate. http://tfl.nu/gd7q

Replies (13) Good night (2537) Bad night (715)
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(916): View more from California

Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.

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(916): Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning. http://tfl.nu/8lph

Replies (6) Good night (1782) Bad night (565)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.

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(918): Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business. http://tfl.nu/hekp

Replies (7) Good night (672) Bad night (1122)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays

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(314): Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays http://tfl.nu/dq5p

Replies (3) Good night (576) Bad night (399)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means

(651): View more from Minnesota

ITS ORAL SEX CAROL

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(651): My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means (651): ITS ORAL SEX CAROL http://tfl.nu/ccj7

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(330): View more from Ohio

Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?

(856): View more from New Jersey

Of course. Go big or go home.

(330): View more from Ohio

You're my fucking queen.

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(330): Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship? (856): Of course. Go big or go home. (330): You're my fucking queen. http://tfl.nu/faru

Replies (1) Good night (949) Bad night (342)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...

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(856): his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits... http://tfl.nu/dl6r

Replies (3) Good night (679) Bad night (490)

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