only you would photoshop your dick
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,