Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
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Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
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She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends