i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize