i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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