I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
