I want to stick my p in your. b.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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