This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
