Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
