You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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