He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
