yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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