I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
