It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize