Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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