I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.