My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
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am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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