Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
