I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
