You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We left the knife in your bed.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
