I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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