I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
we made out on top of his cat.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i believe in u and ur pee
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
