That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
