Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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