So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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