We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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