thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
