When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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