fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
