omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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