I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
