yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize