I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
