went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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