nut hugger
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
All the doctor said was why
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
