Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
