Texts From Last Night

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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.

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  (828): there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not. http://tfl.nu/i6ea
  Replies (96) Good night (1386) Bad night (4569)
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  (714): View more from California

  you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...

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  (714): you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom... http://tfl.nu/jilx
  Replies (21) Good night (745) Bad night (5406)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it

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  (816): Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it http://tfl.nu/hlut
  Replies (65) Good night (5210) Bad night (1919)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Say it nicely.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?

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  (303): Say it nicely. (1-303): Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy? http://tfl.nu/5ned
  Replies (51) Good night (16532) Bad night (1390)
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  (347): View more from New York

  i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had

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  (347): i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had http://tfl.nu/siqb
  Replies (11) Good night (3090) Bad night (1579)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.

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  (314): the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier. http://tfl.nu/vyfv
  Replies (6) Good night (4192) Bad night (1169)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.

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  (+44): you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking. http://tfl.nu/0mh2
  Replies (5) Good night (3508) Bad night (839)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him

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  (412): I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him http://tfl.nu/tu5w
  Replies (4) Good night (974) Bad night (1923)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.

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  (570): i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness. http://tfl.nu/5sus
  Replies (9) Good night (1028) Bad night (2414)
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  (718): View more from New York

  Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by

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  (718): Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by http://tfl.nu/75m6
  Replies (8) Good night (2092) Bad night (562)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.

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  (519): My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again. http://tfl.nu/uf58
  Replies (15) Good night (782) Bad night (3800)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone

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  (336): I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone http://tfl.nu/escl
  Replies (6) Good night (1272) Bad night (954)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.

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  (417): It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday. http://tfl.nu/s40o
  Replies (15) Good night (2389) Bad night (569)
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  (88): View more from

  Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!

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  (88): Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE! http://tfl.nu/c8a6
  Replies (3) Good night (725) Bad night (452)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?

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  (763): I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I? http://tfl.nu/xms3
  Replies (6) Good night (841) Bad night (476)

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