she woke up with a sticky ear
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings