Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize