me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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