This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
