He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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